The below snippet was taken directly from: https://moderntantra.blogspot.com/2015/09/tantric-sex-escaping-dead-bedroom.html

I've gradually become convinced that the conflict between Ask Culture and Guess Culture is grossly underestimated in a lot of “dead bedroom” situations.  It certainly played a major role in our relationship.

I’m an Asker and my boyfriend is a Guesser.  To me, asking for a favor or being asked for one has low emotional cost, so I ask for what I want and I say yes or no when I'm asked for something, without worrying much about it.  Pretty simple and straightforward.

But people raised in a Guess culture are taught that any request you make imposes a serious obligation on the other person, so you should never ask lightly.  They’re also taught that turning down a request, especially from someone close to you, is a serious rejection that can threaten that relationship.  So you are supposed to figure out in advance whether or not a request is going to be acceptable, and you're NEVER supposed to ask for something that the other person isn't willing to do.  This means that Guessers agonize about making requests and about saying no to someone else's requests.  They also think that anyone who repeatedly makes "thoughtless" requests – ones that get 'no' answers – is selfish, rude, and insensitive.

(This is also the sort of culture where you’re considered rude if you take the last cookie when someone offers it to you.  You are not supposed to accept it until the other person has offered three times and you've said no twice.  It’s a culture that involves a lot of indirection and subtlety and potential for misunderstanding, so it can also cause a lot of conflict between Askers and their Guesser in-laws!)

Guess culture rules seem clumsy and inefficient to me, but it's a system that works quite well as long as everyone was raised knowing the rules.  Where it causes trouble is with mixed couples or groups.  Compare these exchanges:

Two Askers:  "Hey, hon! Can you grab me a beer?" "Nah, I’m busy.” "'K, no probs!" [Gets up and gets beer.]

Asker/Guesser: "Hey, hon! Can you grab me a beer?" "Oh, FFS, can't you see that I'm busy? My hands are full!  You're so damned lazy!" "Jesus, I just asked! Why can't you just say no?"

(Or, worse yet, the Guesser silently interrupts what s/he is doing, fetches the beer, and stalks off, fuming resentfully about being asked to do something at an inconvenient time.)

Guesser/Asker:  “Um… hey, hon, are you busy?”  “Yeah, why?”  “Uh, okay.  … Um, when you’re done if it’s not too much trouble could you maybe bring me a beer on your way back?”  “Sure, but it’ll be a bit.  I’ve got my hands full right now.”  [Awkward silence while the Guesser tries to decide whether it would now be considered rude to get up and go get the damned beer and the Asker tries to figure out whether that was one of those mysterious exchanges that is going to make the Guesser sulk for days.]

(Or, alternatively, there is no conversation, because the Guesser won’t ask, but feels neglected because the Asker didn’t say, “Hey, I’m up, want me to get you anything?” – which is what a Guesser thinks any polite, thoughtful person should do.)

This can get pretty pathological where sex is concerned.  If the High Libido partner is a Guesser, initiating sex is risky and being told no is perceived as a serious emotional rejection.  And the Low Libido/Asker partner generally has no understanding of how deeply wounding that rejection is.  So after a string of "no" answers the High Libido/Guesser stops asking, frequency of sex goes to zero, and the Low Libido partner is mystified and feels unjustly accused of being responsible.  Even when I was uninterested in sex, I didn’t understand why my boyfriend stopped asking, so I assumed he wasn’t interested either.