A personal guide to dealing with grief
Karim and I broke up on 11 December.
To say I feel my heart is in a million pieces is an understatement.
It happened quite suddenly after weeks of doubt/fighting/hope. Karim made the decision, which I really commend him for. You could tell I was sitting in paralysis / limbo because the answer didn’t feel clear.
Why am I sharing this?
As a sex coach, you know I openly embrace and publicise my personal life in the hopes that it might bring some clarity, inspiration, or a feeling of being seen or not being alone.
I’ve put some helpful heartbreak resources at the bottom in case you would like some that have aided me in my journey <3
🥺 Grief is not linear. For a few days, I FELT STRONG, I had clarity. And then BOOM just like that, it all came crashing. I knew it would. It changes not just daily but from hour to hour 😅
🛤️ Grief feels like a long tunnel; but it’s a tunnel, not a CAVE. There will be an end, a light, It will pass.
🧨 Grief is the closest I’ve felt to re-experiencing my traumatic Ayahausca trip. I’ve heard sayings like ‘grief is our ego trying to hold on’ - ‘grief is a trauma to the ego’. It’s kinda true! I can get so lost out of my mind clinging onto memories of what was and my past identity as Karim’s girlfriend.
💪🏼Grief can be transformational. I notice my mind fiercely resisting negative emotions - because I fear losing myself, feeling helpless. If I didn’t fear losing control, I would be ok to just SIT with the feelings. 🧘🏻♂️ So I’m practicing mindfulness and transforming the part of me that likes to wriggle from hard feelings.