The Pre-Framing

🌭 This is an excellent practice in asking & receiving. You are not necessarily making this sexual (in fact it might be better if it isn’t). For simplicity, I will call the person being massaged, the “client”. Hehe.

🌭 The whole idea of this practice is to make it impossible for your client to notice that they’re not in charge. The way to do that, is to do nothing unless they ask for it.

🌭 Set aside ONE hour (20 mins each, and 10 mins debrief each). And yes - do time it. ⏱️ It has to be at least 20 minutes because that’s how long it takes to sink in!

Set up:

💆🏻 The client chooses EXACTLY how they would like to be positioned. Get FUSSY and super comfortable, choose your cushions, whether you want to lie down. Notice if you’re like “ohhh… this is fine. This position will do”.

💆🏻 Once the client is comfortable, the massager says the following to them:

1. Wear as many or as few layers as you like
2. Get comfortable in any position or change any time.
3. I will offer the touch (that you specify) for 5-10 seconds at most, and I can stop at any point before that if I like.
4. I will only do exactly what you ask for and nothing more. We can always do less, but not doing more.
5. If there is something I am not willing to do, I will let you know
6. I may invite you to play with different ways of asking
7. We have 20 minutes.

Client invitations:

🍯 Be direct in your request e.g. “Will you ….run your hands ...” or even start with the VERB…. “RUB my lower back”. Even if you don’t do this in real life, the aim of this exercise is to break habits.

Watch if you are saying “oh please could you possibly …..” “You could put your hand here” "

🍯 Remember give adjustments if it’s not exactly the touch you want

🍯 The timer of 5-10 seconds only starts once the massager has got the touch RIGHT.

Massager invitations:

🍯 You can ask things like

How can I make this even more wonderful for you?

Have I got the right spot? Is this what you want? How is the speed? How is the direction?

Don’t ask “Is this ok?” Because this is you asking for reassurance.

Don’t ask questions like “Should I use both hands?” because this is directive. This is you starting to impose your idea of what might be good.