You're in a partnership and you're feeling a little tired & resentful sexually. Maybe you’re trying to guess what your partner wants. Trying to please them. And in doing so, you're taking an enormous amount of responsibility for how your partner feels.
As a result, YOU are not feeling fully fed. You’re shrinking yourself. You feel suppressed sexually. You feel a lot of pressure to find answers, but they’re not working and you’re starting to feel resentful.
On some level, there is a fear of expressing your needs. Of taking up space sexually. You don’t want to be complicated, or risk disconnection. Or get sex “wrong”.
But the truth is:
👀 You want to know that your pleasure also matters.
👀 You want to be reassured that your partner DESIRES YOU.
👀 And you want to trust your partner is doing what they want.
And not having to mind-read them …. Because, who wants to “mother” their partner when they’re getting all sexy & steamy? 💦
1️⃣ It’s easier to trust your partner when you trust yourself. Do you trust yourself to share what you WANT and DON'T want?
2️⃣ If not, try the Bossy Massage (it's a FAVOURITE). It WILL be uncomfortable, and that’s how you know it’s working 😉
3️⃣ TALK about this dynamic of accommodating sexually with your partner in a curious way. Why is this pattern there? What are you reading in your partner? How does guessing/pleasing help in the moment? How can you become aware of it in the moment? What's happening in your partner? How do they experience your pleasing? What do they actually want? What do you both do next time you notice it happening?
If you're looking for an empowering container for 5 weeks, to help you reconnect with your sexual needs again, I am running my co-ed sex school on 25 January. 🎒🚌💦
5 weeks. 12 people. Online. With a free taster late September. 💋
More info on the journey 👉🏼